Learning how to play... Again.

Recognizing and admitting that you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it. So, for my very first post, I have a confession to make...

Hello, my name is Erica and I've forgotten how to play.

(Hi Erica)

I've become an adult. A boring old adult who stresses over time and deadlines, and needs coffee to survive. Long gone are the carefree days of childhood when I could just sit and color in a coloring book or play "mommy" with my baby dolls.

Now I'm a REAL mommy and my heart resides outside of my body in the form of a perfect, little, almost-two-year-old boy named Josiah. As a single mother who's living with family, I'm usually so concerned with keeping up after him and cleaning up messes as they happen, that I feel like I've become stricter than I probably would have been if we had our own place for him to destroy. It makes me sad honestly.  

When the kids (My almost-two-year-old niece lives with us too) play with the Mega Blocks, they know that if a block goes in their mouth, it's game over. If they start scattering the blocks all over the place, ESPECIALLY under the sofas, game over. They also know how to clean up the blocks when play time is over because, let's face it, I don't want to pick up 80-something pieces by myself multiple times a day! I also hoard certain toys and puzzles in my room to avoid messes and don't like it when the pieces go missing, or when crayons get broken during coloring time. Please tell me it's not just me!

I FORGOT HOW TO PLAY!!!

I don't know how to have FUN! I know that I need to loosen up a bit (ok, A LOT) and I need to let the children direct the play. I've read that on all of the cool mommy blogs I follow. But even though some of those other mothers may have more than one child, no one seems to be in my same boat. 

I know this blog is named after my son, but my niece lives with us too and the kids are so close in age, they might as well be twins. My niece has been through lots of change this past summer and maybe because of that, she has become somewhat of a bully to Josiah and can be very jealous around him as well. It's finally rubbing off on Josiah too now. We're hoping it's a phase and try our best as a family to work with them on these behaviors. But until then how as a parent, can I play when the kids almost always end up fighting or hurting one another? I feel like I just spend most of my days happy that I kept them both alive and well, you know? Like I'm more of a referee, if that makes any sense.   

I'd always pictured myself being a COOL mom. I want to be *THAT MOM* that all the mommy bloggers portray themselves as. I understand that it's probably an unattainable goal considering that those mommy bloggers have REAL kids and REAL lives too. A girl can dream though, right? I want to set up tot trays, and sensory bins and do all of the crafts I've pinned on Pinterest! And I've tried, believe me I have! But both kids are so different that what one may enjoy, the other might not, and to give each kid something different to do would only result in all sorts of tantrums, melt downs and fights. No thank you.

I'm trying to learn, I'm desperate to learn! How do daycares and teachers do this with a bunch of students? God bless teachers! I need help!

This blog is where I want to share my honest thoughts on motherhood (and Aunt-hood) and the process as I learn to let go and let these kids be kids. Just a warning, there will probably be plenty more questions and cries for help along the way! 

So tell me please, how do YOU play? If you have multiples close in age, how do you survive? If you're a teacher (bless your heart!) what's your secret?!